Reflecting On A Big NFL Draft Weekend


The 2020 NFL “Home” Draft came and went as fast as the Robert Griffin III‘s spotlight in the league. 

I have never been so jazzed to watch Mel Kiper Jr’s hair bounce up and down while he dissected a sixth-round Right Guard from the Big 12 Conference. I already miss it. 

Amongst the chaos around the country, let’s tie a bow on this surprisingly, excellent broadcast execution. Here are my favorite moments from #NFLDraft2020.

1) Roger Goodell consuming enough alcoholic beverages that made him want to hug an inanimate object. AKA his plasma screen. 

The commissioner changed outfits 17 times, consumed an entire jug of M&M’s that would rival Kevin Malone and was relegated to announcing fourth-round picks on Friday night while lounging in his La-Z Boy recliner.

2) The Carolina Panthers drafting ZERO offensive players. Christian McCaffrey might break the NFL record with 569 touches from scrimmage this season. What are you thinking, Matt Rhule?

3) The ghost of Al Davis reincarnated himself and drafted Henry Ruggs III 12th overall. Ruggs III also became the first player drafted while sporting a bathrobe. 

4) Bill Belichick took a page out K.A Applegate’s Animorphs Series and became the first coach to transform into a dog and contribute to the Patriots draft pick.

5) CeeDee Lamb falling to the Dallas Cowboys as the 17th overall pick? NO! Mr. Lamb’s 4.48 speed, the knack for finding the endzone, and his lightning-quick hands. These skills will translate at the pro-level.

Also, do yourself a favor. Take a peek at Paige Spirnac’s profile. Aside from being an SDSU Aztec (the best educational institution in the United States), she also kicks grown men’s asses on the golf course. 

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Yup I love it here 😍 @princevilleresort

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6) Ryan Gosling’s doppelgänger, Kliff Kingsbury winning the weekend without saying a word. His Mediterranean style Mansion in Scottsdale is badass.

7)  Indianapolis Colts rookie quarterback Jacob Eason demonstrating his ability to engage in coitus with a female.

8) Speaking of SDSU earlier. Center Keith Ismael being the lone Aztec to be selected by the Washington Redskins in the fifth round. We must also mention Kyahva Tezino, Luq Barcoo, Daishawn Dixon, and Parker Houston becoming Undrafted Free Agents. Good Luck!!!

9) Mike Vrabel’s War Room is reminiscent of the 2013 Miami Heat Harlem Shake Video. What is the person in the back left corner doing?

10) Isaiah Wilson’s mother dragging off his girlfriend in front of millions of viewers. 

Isaiah’s mom showing scouts her blocking ability by yanking what is believed to be Wilson’s significant other off her son is true Mama-Bear fashion.

Draft grades for players are total garbage and I don’t believe in them.

 I do believe in Virtual Draft Broadcast grades though and enjoyed the weekend.

I’ll give Goodell an A-minus.

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